Diary of a Soldier's Wife

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 26TH, 2010 06:14 PM EST


Dear husband John,
Honey I am very happy. Very soon our angel is about to come among us to spread lots of bliss in our world. I am sorry I haven’t told you yet but I wanted to keep it as surprise for you but now I cannot keep any longer this secret inside me. Yes Johnny my love, I am pregnant. Seeds of your love are developing in my womb. I know you will go mad with cheer with this news and will first smile then scream and then run here and there everywhere in the cantonment to tell everyone about this. Wow! This feeling overfills me with ecstasy John I cannot tell you. I am heartily thankful to you for blessing us with this precious flower of love.
But you know John I wanted to see how you will smile when you hear this news, I wanted to feel your touch, I, John; I wanted to be in your arms when I tell you about my pregnancy. I really really miss you baby. I wish my strong man comes back soon. Please do come back soon. Is not it possible to apply for a few days leave? I want to live these moments with you. Our child is waiting for daddy.
There are thousands of things I want to tell you. I wish you take me into your muscular arms and we talk for the whooole night. And I tell you everything I have in my heart and you tell how bravely you fight with enemies. Oh! John… mom is calling, I will write you later… Bye bye bye bye bye. Mmuahh!!


I love you.
Your wife, Jane
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MONDAY MARCH 01ST, 2010 11:25 AM EST


Good morning Daddy John,
John you know last entire night I could not sleep. I have been thinking about you and our child. It will be a baby boy :) And I will name him… OK this responsibility if leave on you. But used to say you want a baby girl. What if this is a girl? Then what name we will give her? No, boy and only boy and his name will be… ufff I forgot again, naming the kid is your job.
I know John it does not matter whether it is a boy or girl. All I know is it is our child. And I am very happy and excited. Again there is a problem. If we do not know it is a boy or girl then how we are going to do a lot of shopping? We will buy little prince cloths or little princess cloths? We will get dolls or cars? Will he be a soldier like you or will she be a writer like me? Oh John, I am completely mystified. I am aware when you will come; you will come with all solutions of my problems.
Only the thought of being with you thrills me from head to toe. When you will gently wrap your arms around me and put your ear on my stomach to hear beats of the second heart beating inside me, Oh Jesus how I will stop myself from dying of delight! I think I should stop writing before I die :)


Bye Papa John, Love you Honn,
Your Jenny
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WEDNESDAY MARCH 03RD, 2010 01:48 AM EST


Western Pacific winds
Tenderly touch my face,
It feels you came and kissed.
You are nearby; even when not
With thy love, I am bliss-ed.
O my sailor! Sail to home,
You are awaited, you are missed.


God, how frequently I use the word happy now. Look, how happy I am! Celebrations are all around. I feel to be from out of this world. I heard voice of John today after… ummm let me count… after 36 days. My heart skips a beat when you say,”I love you.” John your voice comes through from earpiece and goes through my soul and each word you say echoes loudly throughout the day and night. Our kid heard you today when you were talking to me. I exactly remember every sentence you say and murmur it to me later. I cannot hide a glitter of exhilaration in my eyes. They are shining like star. My two eyes are gazing at the path that comes to home, John, they are anticipating you, honn they are eagerly waiting for you. Eyes are thirsty sweetheart it’s been seven long months they have not catch a sight of you. I am starving without you. This heart is yearning.




But I am happy beyond explanation because you are coming home :)
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1 Year Later

MONDAY JULY 18TH, 2011 05:10 PM EST


Don’t know why John today you are coming a lot to my memories. I still remember the last time you said me that you love me. How can I forget the day of 03rd March. Our little John, yes I have named him John, has learnt to crawl on his little knees now and all the day he keeps me busy in taking care of him. Mom says you were also very naughty when you were of his age. His eyes exactly resemble to yours. Deep and blue like Pacific Ocean. Pacific Ocean! How can I forget cruel Pacific? I will never forgive Pacific in my life. Yes, I saw those giant waves on T.V. in news. Sea, you swallowed up my John… you swa….ll..ll..ooeed… up….. Jo..oo…h..n.. where have you gone?


Home was waiting for you to come and came your dead body wrapped in the flag. I wished you will cover my body with yours and they covered your body with soil. It kills me John. Every memory kills me. I cannot live because you are not here and our child does not let me die. Everyday I have to live without you but living without you more than dying. I will never again hear your voice. I will never again be in your arms. Our child will never see his father's face.


Harsh Pacific winds,
Bring memories of you
And with memories they bring,
They bring a touch of you,
I still feel
You came, touched and kissed,
O my sailor! Sail to home,
You are awaited, you are missed.

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