Diary of a Soldier's Wife

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 26TH, 2010 06:14 PM EST


Dear husband John,
Honey I am very happy. Very soon our angel is about to come among us to spread lots of bliss in our world. I am sorry I haven’t told you yet but I wanted to keep it as surprise for you but now I cannot keep any longer this secret inside me. Yes Johnny my love, I am pregnant. Seeds of your love are developing in my womb. I know you will go mad with cheer with this news and will first smile then scream and then run here and there everywhere in the cantonment to tell everyone about this. Wow! This feeling overfills me with ecstasy John I cannot tell you. I am heartily thankful to you for blessing us with this precious flower of love.
But you know John I wanted to see how you will smile when you hear this news, I wanted to feel your touch, I, John; I wanted to be in your arms when I tell you about my pregnancy. I really really miss you baby. I wish my strong man comes back soon. Please do come back soon. Is not it possible to apply for a few days leave? I want to live these moments with you. Our child is waiting for daddy.
There are thousands of things I want to tell you. I wish you take me into your muscular arms and we talk for the whooole night. And I tell you everything I have in my heart and you tell how bravely you fight with enemies. Oh! John… mom is calling, I will write you later… Bye bye bye bye bye. Mmuahh!!


I love you.
Your wife, Jane
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MONDAY MARCH 01ST, 2010 11:25 AM EST


Good morning Daddy John,
John you know last entire night I could not sleep. I have been thinking about you and our child. It will be a baby boy :) And I will name him… OK this responsibility if leave on you. But used to say you want a baby girl. What if this is a girl? Then what name we will give her? No, boy and only boy and his name will be… ufff I forgot again, naming the kid is your job.
I know John it does not matter whether it is a boy or girl. All I know is it is our child. And I am very happy and excited. Again there is a problem. If we do not know it is a boy or girl then how we are going to do a lot of shopping? We will buy little prince cloths or little princess cloths? We will get dolls or cars? Will he be a soldier like you or will she be a writer like me? Oh John, I am completely mystified. I am aware when you will come; you will come with all solutions of my problems.
Only the thought of being with you thrills me from head to toe. When you will gently wrap your arms around me and put your ear on my stomach to hear beats of the second heart beating inside me, Oh Jesus how I will stop myself from dying of delight! I think I should stop writing before I die :)


Bye Papa John, Love you Honn,
Your Jenny
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WEDNESDAY MARCH 03RD, 2010 01:48 AM EST


Western Pacific winds
Tenderly touch my face,
It feels you came and kissed.
You are nearby; even when not
With thy love, I am bliss-ed.
O my sailor! Sail to home,
You are awaited, you are missed.


God, how frequently I use the word happy now. Look, how happy I am! Celebrations are all around. I feel to be from out of this world. I heard voice of John today after… ummm let me count… after 36 days. My heart skips a beat when you say,”I love you.” John your voice comes through from earpiece and goes through my soul and each word you say echoes loudly throughout the day and night. Our kid heard you today when you were talking to me. I exactly remember every sentence you say and murmur it to me later. I cannot hide a glitter of exhilaration in my eyes. They are shining like star. My two eyes are gazing at the path that comes to home, John, they are anticipating you, honn they are eagerly waiting for you. Eyes are thirsty sweetheart it’s been seven long months they have not catch a sight of you. I am starving without you. This heart is yearning.




But I am happy beyond explanation because you are coming home :)
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1 Year Later

MONDAY JULY 18TH, 2011 05:10 PM EST


Don’t know why John today you are coming a lot to my memories. I still remember the last time you said me that you love me. How can I forget the day of 03rd March. Our little John, yes I have named him John, has learnt to crawl on his little knees now and all the day he keeps me busy in taking care of him. Mom says you were also very naughty when you were of his age. His eyes exactly resemble to yours. Deep and blue like Pacific Ocean. Pacific Ocean! How can I forget cruel Pacific? I will never forgive Pacific in my life. Yes, I saw those giant waves on T.V. in news. Sea, you swallowed up my John… you swa….ll..ll..ooeed… up….. Jo..oo…h..n.. where have you gone?


Home was waiting for you to come and came your dead body wrapped in the flag. I wished you will cover my body with yours and they covered your body with soil. It kills me John. Every memory kills me. I cannot live because you are not here and our child does not let me die. Everyday I have to live without you but living without you more than dying. I will never again hear your voice. I will never again be in your arms. Our child will never see his father's face.


Harsh Pacific winds,
Bring memories of you
And with memories they bring,
They bring a touch of you,
I still feel
You came, touched and kissed,
O my sailor! Sail to home,
You are awaited, you are missed.

Your valuable comments below:

Goodbye, Dear John

“Dear John, regretfully, telling you I am sorry
Fighting you there war, my feelings go awry.”
Slipped cold M1 Carbine off from hands of John,
Unbelievingly read it thrice, in pain he looked drawn.

“I set you free John, to fight for the nation
Aching from Separations, John, I need salvation.
No home in your wait, bye, sending you your coat.”
Only five lines, was the all she wrote.

After six war-years, in nineteen forty five,
The village of the Jane, seeks an arrive.
Brown coated, unshaved, A tired soldier,
Gun pointing down, from his brave shoulder.
Six years ago she passed, ”Love, John”, did she crave.
Told villagers the story, shot his head on her grave.

Theme of the Poem: John is a an American soldier who is fighting Second World War for his country. A day he receives a letter from his girlfriend Jane telling him that she cannot take pain of separation anymore therefore she wants to end her relation with John. The letter speaks only five lines. Jane even sends brown coat of John with the letter which is the only thing of John she had with her. This is an indication that now there is no any reason for John to come back to her.

But in 1945 when World War II ends, John comes to the village of Jane. End of the sonnet is tragic. John hears news of the death of Jane by villagers, when they narrate him that the letter to the John was the written by Jane on the bed of death and she died with the name of John on her lips. She did not want to bring into the knowledge of John about her death ergo she wrote a heart-braking letter to him so that he forget her. After knowing the painful death and reality behind the letter, John fills with grief and has no reason to live and kills himself with his gun on the grave of Jane.

Your valuable comments below:

Starved, He Starved

Call, I this morning my mistress,
Decorate the deliciousness as in bless,
Haste my mistress, I shall be carving
Shall I produce my fiction on starving.
Stress, I initiate my thinking tank,
Go and fetch something from lower rank,
(Forgive, my apologies to address thee
Of the lower rank; in fact is me)

Recall an incident in great sorrow
Unforgettable, impacted so deep, until any ‘morrow
Saw that brave soul, when bloodshed two was fought
Died he there, home he was never brought,
I recognized a hunger in each his thirsty eye
Starving for beloved, too poor to adieu a bye.

Comments by writer (Ashish Chauhan): On the request by a page on Facebook, I have tried to write this poem. I know this is not the theme exactly as desired by them but this is what I could utter in the answer, I hope it is liked though I know I cannot do things that nice way.
In first octave this sonnet is a keen satire on people who talk about starvation though they do not know what it is because they have never faced it. Poem starts with writer addressing to his wife to prepare his meal. Here it is very ironic that poet is going to write a poem on ‘Starvation’ and he, himself is commanding his wife to make delicious food. Then he says that he is stressing his mind (thinking tank) to write something on the very topic of starvation while he totally unaware that it is very difficult to write something starvation which is soft, serious and an issue full of feelings. The poet calls those who starve are from lower rank but later he admits that he is wrong in calling those poor people from the lower rank and considers himself as a lower rank personality for his lower thinking. Here poet is representing the society which calls them to be from higher ranks but value of their thinking is low.
Sestet in the last lines of the poem speaks story of a soldier in the World War II who has fought so bravely for his country and is dying now. According to poet he is an example of real starvation because he dies thinking of his beloved who is waiting for him at home but he is unable to even bid her a good bye before he dies.

Glory in Death

Bestow, God! difficulties, I will race
Create, Mighty! complication, I will face
Fix there a target, I will chase
You build obstacles, I will keep grace.
Ask me to die, middle of battlefield
To batter on my chest, not to put the shield
Swear take I breath last, detest I to yield
Exterminate me in glory, shalt not I bield.

Thorns are always, before you win the throne
Mourns are always, before your earn the Krone
Souls brave not born, ‘cause heroic verses
But epics sing splendor, do listen universes.

The Death Time : Counting Back to Eternity

Black dark, dead silence, passing seconds, tik-tok,
White walls, breaking rules one hanging clock,
Engraving peace, echoing loud, making sound,
Tik… tik… Sixty moves complete round.

How magical to see three sticks' cruel game,
Walking clock make us dance still we to blame?
Nothing real, all fake, only time is wise,
Tik-tok tik… tik… makes me realize.

Handful time, short life and a big desire,
Stoned eyes, cold lips and a heart of fire,
All life we greed, demand, want and conquer,
“End of day have to go.”, only these words pure.

Find a place, hide deep and put your all mind,
Fixed time, anywhere, certain body, death fill find,
Judgment day, crash of world, you will meet trinity,
And my soul constantly counting back to eternity.